I just want to run. Run away from everything.
Run away from the responsibilities.
Run away from the changes.
Run away from the depressing cloud hanging over my head.
Run away from the negativity that seems to find me everywhere I go.
Run away from my past.
Run away from my mistakes.
Run away from my failures.
Run away from my friends, they don't deserve to see me like this. Feeling weak and helpless, trapped in a darkness I can't pull myself out of. Angry, frustrated, a total failure and a shell of my former self. They don't deserve to see all this. They really don't. They deserve the me that I used to be. Strong, positive, confident, still not bright or talented but at least I had the right attitude and that was enough to pull me through most things.
All I see now when I look in the mirror is a mistake. A screw up who makes all the wrong choices and can't deal with it now.
I say I wanna run to see who would follow me, the truth is I KNOW no one would follow me, so I just want to run so I can sit in a dark corner and not be a bother to everyone around me. I know I can't do anything right, I know I can never be good enough to achieve anything above the bare minimum, sometimes not even then. Please just stop rubbing it in that I'm an utter failure and will probably never amount to anything.
I say I want to be a military man, but I doubt I'll ever be good enough for any position that will let me lead a comfortable life. I'm too stupid to be a proper engineer. I'm a mediocre writer at most, no one will ever hire me for my writing. I can't act for nuts. So what do I have left? What do I have to offer the world?
No talents, no intellect, no physique. I have just about nothing to look forward to in life.
Name one thing, just one reason why I shouldn't just run. Give me one reason that is worth staying for.
If anyone can name one reason that is good enough for me to stay, I will.
About Me
- Siegius
- Just a quiet young daydreamer with plenty of stories to tell but no one to tell them to. My stories are fragmented, but someday I'll piece them together one by one. When that last piece of the puzzle finally clicks into place, I'll finally be able to say I'm proud of what I've written. Expect some Green Lantern stories around, personally created story arcs, but I do have my own stories too. So, you wanna hear a story?
4 comments:
This is a bit late, but... Maybe because your chapter isn't up yet. Don't you know it's rude to leave before finishing a story?
I do. But the beauty of being a writer is being able to end a story whenever you want. This story is getting depressing and I think it's about time I tie things up in this little tale. No happily ever after, no real resolution, just "The End"
I don't have anything to say to that, but a random note: I like your blog's new design, it's strangely peaceful.
Thank you, my dear :) I thought it suited my blog a little better. Although reading smoething like this post seems rather... odd given my new theme. But I just wanted to say, thank you. For your earlier comment. I've been pondering what you said, and I came to the conclusion that you were right. It is rude to leave before finishing a story. My chapter isn't up yet, at least I hope it isn't. So thank you once again for you words that were actually wiser than I could ever hope to sound.
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