Recently, I've been having some odd dreams. A few good, one really good. But many were bad. Here's one that was... really weird. Be warned, it is heavily based on the Star Wars universe and I do not explain a lot of things because if I do, I probably will never stop. So, here is a forewarning. If you do not like Star Wars or hearing me groan on about a Star Wars-based dream, just stop reading and dont waste your time. If you truly want to find out what happens still, here is what happened...
I was in the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. For those of you that don't know, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is and always will be one of my favourite games. My favourite place in this game was Dantooine. On Dantooine, there was a Jedi Enclave where young Force Adepts came to be trained by the Masters. It was a safe haven for the Jedi, who were being hunted by the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Malak.
Dantooine was beautiful and if I could pick a place anywhere in the game to make a home, that would be it. It had massive rolling plains, the soundtrack was so peaceful and I loved just running around in the game and doing missions on that planet. The place felt... safe. Yes, I know it's just a game, but I sometimes get really into my games and attached to my characters. I got really attached to mine and particularly to this planet.
The dream starts, at least as far as I can remember, in the middle of the Enclave, where a small grove stood. A tree grew in the center of the grove. I was in black Jedi Robes, the kind Dark Jedis usually wore, I always preferred things in black. I remember holding a gunmetal-grey cylinder, it was smooth and rather unadorned save for three symbols on the back. I recognised these symbols as my initials in Mandalorian. A small sapphire rested on the flip side of the cylinder. When I pressed it, a rich sapphire blue blade sprang to life. "This must be my lightsaber." I thought to myself eagerly. Come on I've always wanted one, can you blame me?
I saw so many Jedi throughout the Enclave, many of them are people I know in real life. I strode through the Enclave, greeting people as I passed and finally reached the doors to the courtyard. As it opened, I felt more at peace than I ever did in real life. The air smelt... sweet. Like it did in Perth when I visited my relatives there on a holiday. The breeze was cool and the sun was high in the sky, must have been around noon. I made my way out of the Enclave compounds and wandered around to see the sights. I visited the Star Map ruins, which pulsed with dark energies. Oh, and I forgot to mention, in the dream I actually felt the Force. What I imagined the Force would feel, I felt it. I could sense people and their intentions, I could feel the alignments of Force energy, it felt like an extension to my senses. I actually woke up feeling rather... deaf. Like one of my senses was suddenly deadened to me. I got so used to it in that short dream, I actually feel rather incomplete without it, even now. But I felt EVERYTHING. And I could actually use it in the dream. I could lift rocks with the Force, I could lift massive boulders with it! I could jump at least fifteen meters into the air, I could throw my lightsaber and it would return to me like a boomerang. Well, better than a boomerang, those never EVER returned to me. But it was an amazing feeling. I visited Juhani's Grove and felt the dark taint still present from Juhani's fall to the dark side. I admit, I finally fully understood why the dark side was so addictive.
There was a place I loved to go to and that was the Crystal Cave. The Crystal Cave was a cave that was filled with hundreds of multicoloured crystals. They came in different shapes and sizes and each had different properties. These crystals were used to focus lightsabers and create different colours, shades and blade properties. I remember picking up an assortment and stowing them away in the folds of my robes before slinking on out.
But what I saw next shattered my perfect world as the cave shook and crumbled, nearly burying me along with it.
In the game, Darth Malak razes Dantooine by destroying the Jedi Enclave from orbit and ransacking the place. He captures Jedi and uses their Force Energy as his own personal Force batteries by keeping them in stasis aboard the Star Forge. They never actually show footage of Dantooine being destroyed, but that is exactly what I saw.
The skies were ablaze as massive torrents of turbolaser fire pelted the Enclave. People were disintegrated or reduced to burning corpses with the skin melted off their faces. The Enclave, my precious safe haven, was incinerated and the turbolasers reduced the structure to nothing but ash and rubble. But it was not enough. I took shelter in the temple where the Star Map was, and soon enough the turbolaser fire ceased. I opened the door and surveyed the destruction inflicted on my home. It was heartbreaking, I couldn't do anything to stop it either. But it got worse. Fighters descended on the Enclave, firing on it and anyone else out in the open. I brought one down by deflecting it's own cannon fire back at it and another by grabbing it with the Force and thrusting it straight into the ground. I was angry. I was beyond angry, I could feel the blood boiling in my veins. I grabbed one starfighter with the Force and crumpled it like a tin can. I even hurled lightning at one of the fighters and probably cooked the pilot in his flightsuit.
Dropships began to descend and unload Sith Troops commanded by Malak's Dark Jedi. I ignited my saber and made sure they regretted destroying my home. Deflecting blaster bolts, duelling Dark Jedi, it was like a daydream come true. I beheaded Sith soldiers by the dozens and crushed them with the Force. I smashed them into walls and fried them in their armour with Force Lightning. I knew I was falling to the dark side after watching my friends, friends I knew in real life, die and my home reduced ruins. But I didn't care. I killed any Sith forces I saw and even had a chance to duel with Dark Jedis. I even duelled two at the same time. I cut one in half and beheaded the other with his pal's lightsaber Dooku-execution style.
The Masters. Master Vrook, Master Zhar, Master Dorak, Master Vandar. I hoped they were alive, they'd know what to do. I fought my way to the Council Chambers, but did not make it very far. Because who stood in front of me, none other than the Dark Lord himself.
"A powerful young Jedi, aren't you? Yes, that raw Force potential... And so much darkness. You would make a powerful Sith Lord. Yes, join me and I will show you the great power the dark side has to offer. Earn your place at my side and watch the galaxy bow down to you!"
I roared and charged the Dark Lord. Probably a big mistake, because with one swift movement he drew his saber and knocked me away. He was A LOT stronger. Sending a wave of Force energy his way just left him chuckling in his mechanical voice as he raised a wall of Force energy of his own to block it. Then it was his turn, sending a wall of Force energy that left me crumpled against a wall that was now cracked from getting slammed against it. I'm pretty sure that broke a rib or two as well. And the pain I felt, was real. Very, very real. My lightsaber was lost somewhere in the rubble of the Enclave, I couldn't summon it to me even if I could muster up the concentration to pull it to me.
"Such potential, what a waste. No matter..." He raised his saber for the killing blow, but it was a blow that never came. I put as much Force energy as I could behind one bone-crushing wave of Force energy, and it blew the Dark Lord backwards, smashing into the tree in the middle of the Enclave and leaving him a crumpled mess and without his lightsaber as well. It would now be a battle of wills. How I could beat the powerful Dark Lord of the Sith with only the Force as my ally, I knew not. But I would try. Picking up two massive slabs of the Enclave, I hurled them at Malak. He stopped both and threw them to the side, but that was not what I intended to hurt him. What followed has a withering torrent of Force Lightning that burned him in his armour and made his voice box sputter and smoke. But it was not enough, not by a long shot. Seeing something sparkle in the rubble, I closed my eyes and felt for my lightsaber. And there it was, the crystal attuned to me and linked to me in a way. I called to it and it slid reassuringly into the palm of my hand. I ignited the blade and rushed the Dark Lord. I slashed and stabbed in the style of Form VII, Juyo, very erratic and chaotic. The Dark Lord dodged and evaded my every attack and even managed to recover his lightsaber in the exchange. So we dueled. His aggressive one-handed style managed to stave off my blows but not without effort. But it wasn't long before I faltered. I was knicked in the side, his saber burning through my robes and into my left side. I felt the searing pain as if it was real.
I was in the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. For those of you that don't know, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is and always will be one of my favourite games. My favourite place in this game was Dantooine. On Dantooine, there was a Jedi Enclave where young Force Adepts came to be trained by the Masters. It was a safe haven for the Jedi, who were being hunted by the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Malak.
 |
| Darth Malak |
Dantooine was beautiful and if I could pick a place anywhere in the game to make a home, that would be it. It had massive rolling plains, the soundtrack was so peaceful and I loved just running around in the game and doing missions on that planet. The place felt... safe. Yes, I know it's just a game, but I sometimes get really into my games and attached to my characters. I got really attached to mine and particularly to this planet.
 |
| Concept art of Dantooine. This is how it looked to me, just a lot more real. Home... |
The dream starts, at least as far as I can remember, in the middle of the Enclave, where a small grove stood. A tree grew in the center of the grove. I was in black Jedi Robes, the kind Dark Jedis usually wore, I always preferred things in black. I remember holding a gunmetal-grey cylinder, it was smooth and rather unadorned save for three symbols on the back. I recognised these symbols as my initials in Mandalorian. A small sapphire rested on the flip side of the cylinder. When I pressed it, a rich sapphire blue blade sprang to life. "This must be my lightsaber." I thought to myself eagerly. Come on I've always wanted one, can you blame me?
 This is as close to the lightsaber I had as I could find. The saber was gunmetal-grey instead of steel, the black leather grip was where my initials were. The flip side that is obscured was where the sapphire activation button was. |
 |
| The Crystal Cave |
There was a place I loved to go to and that was the Crystal Cave. The Crystal Cave was a cave that was filled with hundreds of multicoloured crystals. They came in different shapes and sizes and each had different properties. These crystals were used to focus lightsabers and create different colours, shades and blade properties. I remember picking up an assortment and stowing them away in the folds of my robes before slinking on out.
But what I saw next shattered my perfect world as the cave shook and crumbled, nearly burying me along with it.
In the game, Darth Malak razes Dantooine by destroying the Jedi Enclave from orbit and ransacking the place. He captures Jedi and uses their Force Energy as his own personal Force batteries by keeping them in stasis aboard the Star Forge. They never actually show footage of Dantooine being destroyed, but that is exactly what I saw.
The skies were ablaze as massive torrents of turbolaser fire pelted the Enclave. People were disintegrated or reduced to burning corpses with the skin melted off their faces. The Enclave, my precious safe haven, was incinerated and the turbolasers reduced the structure to nothing but ash and rubble. But it was not enough. I took shelter in the temple where the Star Map was, and soon enough the turbolaser fire ceased. I opened the door and surveyed the destruction inflicted on my home. It was heartbreaking, I couldn't do anything to stop it either. But it got worse. Fighters descended on the Enclave, firing on it and anyone else out in the open. I brought one down by deflecting it's own cannon fire back at it and another by grabbing it with the Force and thrusting it straight into the ground. I was angry. I was beyond angry, I could feel the blood boiling in my veins. I grabbed one starfighter with the Force and crumpled it like a tin can. I even hurled lightning at one of the fighters and probably cooked the pilot in his flightsuit.
Dropships began to descend and unload Sith Troops commanded by Malak's Dark Jedi. I ignited my saber and made sure they regretted destroying my home. Deflecting blaster bolts, duelling Dark Jedi, it was like a daydream come true. I beheaded Sith soldiers by the dozens and crushed them with the Force. I smashed them into walls and fried them in their armour with Force Lightning. I knew I was falling to the dark side after watching my friends, friends I knew in real life, die and my home reduced ruins. But I didn't care. I killed any Sith forces I saw and even had a chance to duel with Dark Jedis. I even duelled two at the same time. I cut one in half and beheaded the other with his pal's lightsaber Dooku-execution style.
The Masters. Master Vrook, Master Zhar, Master Dorak, Master Vandar. I hoped they were alive, they'd know what to do. I fought my way to the Council Chambers, but did not make it very far. Because who stood in front of me, none other than the Dark Lord himself.
"A powerful young Jedi, aren't you? Yes, that raw Force potential... And so much darkness. You would make a powerful Sith Lord. Yes, join me and I will show you the great power the dark side has to offer. Earn your place at my side and watch the galaxy bow down to you!"
I roared and charged the Dark Lord. Probably a big mistake, because with one swift movement he drew his saber and knocked me away. He was A LOT stronger. Sending a wave of Force energy his way just left him chuckling in his mechanical voice as he raised a wall of Force energy of his own to block it. Then it was his turn, sending a wall of Force energy that left me crumpled against a wall that was now cracked from getting slammed against it. I'm pretty sure that broke a rib or two as well. And the pain I felt, was real. Very, very real. My lightsaber was lost somewhere in the rubble of the Enclave, I couldn't summon it to me even if I could muster up the concentration to pull it to me.
"Such potential, what a waste. No matter..." He raised his saber for the killing blow, but it was a blow that never came. I put as much Force energy as I could behind one bone-crushing wave of Force energy, and it blew the Dark Lord backwards, smashing into the tree in the middle of the Enclave and leaving him a crumpled mess and without his lightsaber as well. It would now be a battle of wills. How I could beat the powerful Dark Lord of the Sith with only the Force as my ally, I knew not. But I would try. Picking up two massive slabs of the Enclave, I hurled them at Malak. He stopped both and threw them to the side, but that was not what I intended to hurt him. What followed has a withering torrent of Force Lightning that burned him in his armour and made his voice box sputter and smoke. But it was not enough, not by a long shot. Seeing something sparkle in the rubble, I closed my eyes and felt for my lightsaber. And there it was, the crystal attuned to me and linked to me in a way. I called to it and it slid reassuringly into the palm of my hand. I ignited the blade and rushed the Dark Lord. I slashed and stabbed in the style of Form VII, Juyo, very erratic and chaotic. The Dark Lord dodged and evaded my every attack and even managed to recover his lightsaber in the exchange. So we dueled. His aggressive one-handed style managed to stave off my blows but not without effort. But it wasn't long before I faltered. I was knicked in the side, his saber burning through my robes and into my left side. I felt the searing pain as if it was real.
"You would have made a powerful apprentice. And in time, an exceptional Sith Lord. But you chose to oppose me. And now, you shall be buried in your precious Enclave."
With a raise of his hand, the ground beneath me cracked and fell, sending me to the depths of the Enclave's sublevels. But he was thorough, dropping three massive chunks of the Enclave on top of me. I barely had enough time to put up a Force Barrier. So there I lay, dying in the depths of the Enclave. As the last of my life ebbed from my body, I could only remember that I was dying within a place I called home. I took comfort that though I had failed, someone else would succeed. A powerful Jedi, named Revan. He will see Malak dethroned and the Star Forge destroyed. The Order will someday be rebuilt and my home... My home would be as well. I lay in the midst of the rubble, clutching the cool, smooth cylinder of my lightsaber. I stared at the sapphire in the hilt of my lightsaber, feeling once again... at peace. My wounds finally took their toll on me...
I awoke with a searing pain in my left side, as if I had... as if I had a lightsaber wound there. I felt sore all around, especially in my ribs. I felt exhausted. My right hand felt cold, the same hand that held the cold, metallic shaft of my lightsaber only moments ago. It was probably from a lack of blood flow, but it was still odd. What was the most significant thing was that I felt... deafened. Deafened to the Force. I know I had only felt the extension of the Force for a little while, but it felt so... amazing. So completing. I was whole with it. But now I felt cut off from it, as if I had known the feeling of the Force all my life. I still miss that feeling, sensing the life around me, the pulse and flow of life, feeling it thrumming in my body and allowing me to do the impossible, like throw boulders and leap five stories in the air or move faster and hit harder than any normal human ever could. I imagine this is what it feels like to lose the ability to see, or hear, or touch. It actually feels like losing all three. I long to feel it once again, even if it is within my dreams. Is that what being omniscient feels like? I suppose I will never know. But what I felt, the feats I accomplished, the peace I felt on Dantooine, in the Enclave before it was decimated... I felt at home. With the planet. With the Enclave. With the people there. With the Force.
I know most people are gonna think I'm some geeky Star Wars fanboy weirdo after reading this. Judge if you must, but I refuse to be ashamed of a fandom I absolutely love. Even if it means I am labelled as a geek. I loved the game, I loved what I learned from the game, I love the movies, I love the books, I love the Star Wars universe. So say what you will. For a brief time, I was a Jedi. I felt the Force. I wielded a lightsaber. I duelled Dark Jedi, I destroyed starfighters, I even crossed sabers with the Dark Lord Darth Malak himself and I was so close to defeating him.
For a moment, I was strong. I had a purpose. I was important. I was different.
I.
Was.
Powerful.
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